Today is a kind of mixed emotion day for my family. 12 years ago exactly, my Papa (grandfather, for people who think I mean my dad) died because of colon cancer. They discovered it too late, and there was nothing much the hospital could do.
My Papa was a great man. Born in Derbyshire England, in 1932, on November 20th. Died in Montreal, Quebec, Canada, in 2001, on February 13th.
He spoke many different languages, and was a very well educated man; he was a school teacher, actually. He married twice, and had five children, two with his first wife, Irene Ferguson (my Grandma) Martine (my Mummy) and Alan, and three with his second wife, Irene Mackie (my Nana), Andrew, Fiona, and Peter.
When he was alive, he had three grandchildren- Rebecca, Jason from my aunty Fiona, and me, from my Mummy (Martine). Shortly after his death, my cousin Amber was born (from my uncle Peter).
In 2012, Rebecca had a son named Kaleb, and he is loved by us all.
I think he'd be proud of us all. We have all overcome so much in our lives, because believe me when I tell you my family hasn't had it easy. But we're all pulling through, and we're all happy with our lives, because we have each other and good friends.
I miss my Papa, we all miss him. His jokes, his laugh, his garden, his love of poetry...all of it. He's still with us thiugh, I think. No, I know. He loves Amber and Kaleb just as much as if they were alive when he was.
Wednesday, 13 February 2013
Tuesday, 12 February 2013
Word Count
Word count
(Story started December 30th 2010, 400 words approx.)
12998 so far as of November 12th
2011
} 8268 words later
21266 so far as of September 17th 2012
}
3393 words later
24659 so far as of February 8th
2013
S'been a while
So, I haven't blogged (not that anybody notices, since all my followers are my friends...) in a while, because I've been under a lot of stress. That stupid math exemption request is taking up a lot of time, and my boyfriend Liam and I have been fighting like cats and dogs over everything- I almost moved out yesterday because I miss all of my family and friends in Montréal and I can't stand it here anymore because it's messy and we fight- well for lots of reasons, but one of them almost made us break up. We haven't broken up, thank God, and I haven't moved out.
See, I was sitting on the couch and Liam was making dinner, and I just...snapped. I realized that I'm just unhappy here, and can't stay here anymore. So, out of nowhere, I said it. I just said, "I don't want to live here anymore," it was verbal vomit...I just couldn't stay here anymore. I didn't even discuss it with him before making the descision. So, he got angry and ignored me, I called my parents and his mum...and stuff happened. Then, before I knew it he was in the room, telling me that he was sorry for how he treated me (he's kind of an ass without knowing it...and also when he knows it sometimes) and for how everything has turned out. He was sorry for EVERYTHING. He cried. I cried. It was a snot/sob-fest. BUT we talked after that and decided that we should at least try to work things out before me giving up on us after four years.
So we're going to try to fix things. I'm no angel in the relationship department either, don't get me wrong. I need to work on my sarcasm (he has aspergers and doesn't understand it) and I also need to work on my depression and quick temper (I uswed to be passive aggressive, but that's gone now into an explosion of anger)...we both have to support the other. If it doesn't work out, that sucks. But we owe ourselves to at least try. We've been together four years right?
There's all that, and the fact that I do absolutely nothing all day half the time due to depression or me being sick. I need a job, but my french isn't up to par for Sherbrooke. I'm not in school since I only had one semester to get my GED, and failed again.
First world problems, right? Ugh. They still suck. But, expect more posts.
See, I was sitting on the couch and Liam was making dinner, and I just...snapped. I realized that I'm just unhappy here, and can't stay here anymore. So, out of nowhere, I said it. I just said, "I don't want to live here anymore," it was verbal vomit...I just couldn't stay here anymore. I didn't even discuss it with him before making the descision. So, he got angry and ignored me, I called my parents and his mum...and stuff happened. Then, before I knew it he was in the room, telling me that he was sorry for how he treated me (he's kind of an ass without knowing it...and also when he knows it sometimes) and for how everything has turned out. He was sorry for EVERYTHING. He cried. I cried. It was a snot/sob-fest. BUT we talked after that and decided that we should at least try to work things out before me giving up on us after four years.
So we're going to try to fix things. I'm no angel in the relationship department either, don't get me wrong. I need to work on my sarcasm (he has aspergers and doesn't understand it) and I also need to work on my depression and quick temper (I uswed to be passive aggressive, but that's gone now into an explosion of anger)...we both have to support the other. If it doesn't work out, that sucks. But we owe ourselves to at least try. We've been together four years right?
There's all that, and the fact that I do absolutely nothing all day half the time due to depression or me being sick. I need a job, but my french isn't up to par for Sherbrooke. I'm not in school since I only had one semester to get my GED, and failed again.
First world problems, right? Ugh. They still suck. But, expect more posts.
Tuesday, 8 January 2013
Stuff, and stuff, and rantings about math
Okay, so guess what? I've decided to enter like, a billion short story submissions to a whole bunch of people, i.e magazines and contests, and whatnot. Cool huh? I think so! I'll let y'all know how all of that goes.
In other news, I've got many books to read from Christmas and I am very content.
And now for something completely different; the paranormal going ons in my place have ceased more or less- no door slamming. I'm relieved, but also kind of annoyed that I never caught anything on tape. NO PROOF ahhgh!
On to sports! No. I hate sports...
hmmm...time for serious-ness ( serious-ness is now a word)
I'm trying to get an exemption for my grade ten math, because frankly( I've taken the course six times now) I just don't give a damn! I have a dissorder called dyscalculia, which screws up my mathematical skills greatly. I can't even picture numbers in my head!!! I count on my fingers for the smallest of things, I have a hard time with money so getting a job is difficult, I see numbers screwed up(example, 678 is 687 or when too many zero's are in a number I often mess up) I have a hard time figuring out how to read a number if it's more than four digits long...the list goes on.
So, basically math isn't my cup of tea. And you know what? I've tried for an exemption before, and the lovely government said- drum roll please- no.
They said that they recognize my dissability, but the school (an adult ed) wasn't doing enough to help me. Really??? I'm one student out of a whole bunch they needed to help out, which they did to the best of their ability I might add, and they singled me out pretty much- which seems pretty damn helpful to me, I think, considering I wasn't the only person they needed to focus on-so uhh...what the heck? That school ( Place Cartier Adult Education Center) did a whole lot for me, and then some.
So here I am. I was granted one semester at Champlain College to get my DES, which is absolutely no time to finish a course by myself (I had help, but was pretty much on my own, doing Distance Education online...which didn't pan out at all!) I had my one semester, never completed the math course, because all I did was study, get help from my math major boyfriend (he's at Bishop's Uiversity studying to become a math teacher) and online math help sites...and of course failed the math. I never actually handed in anything, even if I completed it, because I was just so damned confused and finally gave up due to stress and health issues which the stress made worse!!!
I also failed gym...but that's because I have health problems and missed a lot of class, and skipped to study- you guessed it guys- MATH! My other marks could have been sooooooooo much better if I didn't have to carry around the stress of the math course and deadline. I worked my arse off, but no. It was too much stress for me. It IS too much stress fotr me. If I have to take that class one more time, I swear to God I'm going to go nuts. NUTS!
I really hope this whole exemption thing works out. I have people who are helping me out, my parents and my Grandma, my old adult ed, my old high school teachers, a representative from the government, my old psychologists...good stuff. Please God, help me out. I'll believe in you! Okay, maybe not...but...UGH PLEASE ANYBODY!!!!
(I'd like to tank my boyfriend for taking care of me, as I have the flu)
In other news, I've got many books to read from Christmas and I am very content.
And now for something completely different; the paranormal going ons in my place have ceased more or less- no door slamming. I'm relieved, but also kind of annoyed that I never caught anything on tape. NO PROOF ahhgh!
On to sports! No. I hate sports...
hmmm...time for serious-ness ( serious-ness is now a word)
I'm trying to get an exemption for my grade ten math, because frankly( I've taken the course six times now) I just don't give a damn! I have a dissorder called dyscalculia, which screws up my mathematical skills greatly. I can't even picture numbers in my head!!! I count on my fingers for the smallest of things, I have a hard time with money so getting a job is difficult, I see numbers screwed up(example, 678 is 687 or when too many zero's are in a number I often mess up) I have a hard time figuring out how to read a number if it's more than four digits long...the list goes on.
So, basically math isn't my cup of tea. And you know what? I've tried for an exemption before, and the lovely government said- drum roll please- no.
They said that they recognize my dissability, but the school (an adult ed) wasn't doing enough to help me. Really??? I'm one student out of a whole bunch they needed to help out, which they did to the best of their ability I might add, and they singled me out pretty much- which seems pretty damn helpful to me, I think, considering I wasn't the only person they needed to focus on-so uhh...what the heck? That school ( Place Cartier Adult Education Center) did a whole lot for me, and then some.
So here I am. I was granted one semester at Champlain College to get my DES, which is absolutely no time to finish a course by myself (I had help, but was pretty much on my own, doing Distance Education online...which didn't pan out at all!) I had my one semester, never completed the math course, because all I did was study, get help from my math major boyfriend (he's at Bishop's Uiversity studying to become a math teacher) and online math help sites...and of course failed the math. I never actually handed in anything, even if I completed it, because I was just so damned confused and finally gave up due to stress and health issues which the stress made worse!!!
I also failed gym...but that's because I have health problems and missed a lot of class, and skipped to study- you guessed it guys- MATH! My other marks could have been sooooooooo much better if I didn't have to carry around the stress of the math course and deadline. I worked my arse off, but no. It was too much stress for me. It IS too much stress fotr me. If I have to take that class one more time, I swear to God I'm going to go nuts. NUTS!
I really hope this whole exemption thing works out. I have people who are helping me out, my parents and my Grandma, my old adult ed, my old high school teachers, a representative from the government, my old psychologists...good stuff. Please God, help me out. I'll believe in you! Okay, maybe not...but...UGH PLEASE ANYBODY!!!!
(I'd like to tank my boyfriend for taking care of me, as I have the flu)
Thursday, 20 December 2012
Guess what?
The world hasn't ended yet!! I already knew it wouldn't, but still. I just wanted to rub it in people's faces a little bit - I'm mean, I know.
No, but seriosuly, this has got me thinking about what I would do if the world really was going to end. There are so many things as a 19 year old, that I have yet to do because I haven't lived very long if you think about it. It would suck to not have accomplished any of my goals like going to Ireland, or being published, or finally getting my diploma, if the world was to end.
I'm sure glad it hasn't, and won't in my life time!
No, but seriosuly, this has got me thinking about what I would do if the world really was going to end. There are so many things as a 19 year old, that I have yet to do because I haven't lived very long if you think about it. It would suck to not have accomplished any of my goals like going to Ireland, or being published, or finally getting my diploma, if the world was to end.
I'm sure glad it hasn't, and won't in my life time!
Wednesday, 19 December 2012
Happy holidays
Happy holidays people out there in the bloggerverse! Whatever you celebrate, celebrate it with pride, unless you're a Satanist or Nazi or in the KKK and such...you guys make my happy turn sad.
So, a couple of things need to be said. Drink responsibly this year- and read many, many books! Read until your heart's content people! But seriously, I would like to say some things.
There are millions of people around the world who are in dire need of help- so think about them for a little bit, and be thankful for what you have. We have shelter, food, technology, and water that is already purified. Our children grow up with toys and education. We have medicine for when we get sick- and where I live in Canada, our medicare system is fantastic. There are people dying of hunger everywhere in the world, yet we go out and buy gifts at Christmas and spend our money on things that we don't need to buy...because we have the means. So be thankful for what you have.
Also, I am so very sorry for losses from the recent tradegy in Conneticut, my heart is with everybody.
I've been thinking a lot recently, about what I am thankful for. And here are some people (I have more familyu and friends, but these are some examples haha:
Some of my friends, my mum and dad, my aunty Fiona, my uncle Alan, my cousin Rebecca and her son, kaleb, my grandparerents on my mum's side, my boyfriend.
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